FUCK SHIT UP: Archive

I DIDNT DO ANYTHING OVER THE BREAK :|

Dec 31st

dad: i want to change my career, what should i do now?
me: astronaut
dad: HOUSTON... WE HAVE A PROBLEM... I JUST THREW UP... in my mask
 me; HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA EW EW EW!

Dec 31st

clubbutter2nite: birds-planes-trains-cars: ...

Dec 29th

Eric: WHAT KIND OF MORON LEAVES THE KEYS IN THE IGNITION?

Kelso: WELL WHEN I PUT THE KEYS IN MY POCKET, IT DISTRACTS FROM MY NATURAL BULGE! GOD!

Dec 28th

211 notes

Dec 28th

9 notes

Dec 28th

Dec 27th

“why are there strawberries on my nipples I need them for a fruit salad”

– Gino Kai Carranza’s FACEBOOK STATUS HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAA WTF GINO DOESN’T EVEN LIKE FRUIT SALAD HE ONLY LIKES FOOTBALL, LINDSEY, SERENA, AND I!!!!!!!!!! (via torisavedtexts) GINO IS STUPID!

Dec 27th

32 notes

Dec 27th

Dec 21st

1,165 notes

Dec 18th

going to Michael's craft store to get stuff for...

(via laurendanielle) OMG WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO MAKE?

Dec 16th

“IS MY BOOTY SHAKING?”

– SOME BLACK GIRL TO ANOTHER BLACK GIRL BEHIND LINDSEY AND I

Dec 16th

david: why did the boy drop his ice cream?
me: why?
david: bc he got hit by a truck

Dec 14th

me: OMG IS THAT YOUR PHONE?
12 year old: yes why?
me: arent you like 12?
12 year old: yes.....
me: how are you already texting?
12 year old: IVE BEEN TEXTING SINCE I WAS 8!!

Dec 14th

Dec 13th

“IN AN IDEAL WORLD, I WOULD HAVE ALL TEN FINGERS ON MY LEFT HAND, SO MY RIGHT...”

– DWIGHT OMFG IM PISSING OMFGOMFGOMFGHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA (via toristeffen)

Dec 13th

hymendestroyer: photomoto: hymendestroyer: One school day, a boy named Tom was sitting in class and doing math. It was six more minutes until after school. As he was doing his homework, something caught his eye. His desk was next to the window, and he turned and looked to the grass outside. It looked like a picture. When school was over, he ran to the spot where he saw it. He ran fast so...

Dec 13th